8 things that need to change about Christmas

So I guess it’s Christmas, the month long holiday.

I have been around 22 of them, and it’s getting a little old. I’m not saying we shouldn’t celebrate it, but maybe we could switch it up a little. Here’s my list:

  • 1. No more songs spoofing 12 days of Christmas, it’s not creative or funny anymore.
  • 2. Santa Clause would be way cooler as a Yeti, flying Loch Ness monsters would be way cooler then red nosed reindeers.

  • 3. No more coca cola polar bears, I get it, they’re so cute and computer animated.
  • 4. More snow in Oregon, less kids.

  • 5. Hollywood, you need to stop trying to make another Christmas classic, you’ll never be able to do it that means you too Vince Vaughn.
  • 6. Jesus was a jew, he couldn’t eat pig, I am all for steak replacing this ham bullshit.

  • 7. No more pop stars singing christmas songs, please Jessica Simpson, I am begging you.
  • 8. More christmas lights, that’s right, I want them everywhere. In big colorful globs.

Alright I’m wasting time. I need to paint something today. I will post it if I finish anything, but it’s going to be shitty iPhone camera.

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AARON LECK WHITAKER is a 25 year old painter, alternative comic artist and screenwriter living in Austin, TX.